Let’s face it, for many of us mothers, keeping sane and not losing a sense of who we are is difficult. Particularly when you juggle being a mum, a wife as well, perhaps, a career or business. As the lynchpin to all of these responsibilities, it becomes ever more important that you don’t neglect your own self-care.

Being a modern-day mum and wife does take its toll and it is usually left to us to decide how, when and what we can do so that we not to lose our identity, individuality and sensuality.

Below are some tips on how you can reverse the tide and claw back your identity

8254390 - bedtime woes, unhappy kids as young mother tries to make them sleep 8254390 - bedtime woes, unhappy kids as young mother tries to make them sleep
Image Credit: www.123rf.com.

Treat yourself, you deserve it
We are often at the end of a very long line when it comes to treats. There’s no need to feel guilty about it. Once in a while, why not splurge and indulge in a new hairdo, a sexy dress, a spa day or even a manicure and pedicure, and you will literally find a new spring in your step…I mean, who doesn’t feel good after a spot of pampering at the salon? You’ll be glad you did.


Date night…swap night
And no I don’t mean swap your other half like the TV show! Rather, arrange to swap baby-sitting duties with friends so that you can have that date night with your partner/other half. This can be paid back in the same manner and would save you the hassle of getting a child minder which could be expensive and also leave you unsettled as you would likely want to keep checking on the kids every minute.


Fulfil your dreams
A very famous actress once said that ‘no matter where you are from, your dreams are valid’. Try to recapture the dreams you had before motherhood. Whether it’s obtaining that midwifery degree, getting that BSL qualification, establishing that business or even bungee jumping, don’t let motherhood or anything else stand in your way. The kids will grow up and leave the nest by which time you’ll wonder what to do with your free and quiet time? Don’t put your life on hold and make sure you realise every single one of your dreams.


Be comfortable in your skin and say ‘no’ to peer pressure
Very often, one of the first things to go when you become a mum is a positive body image, and we women are usually our own worse critics. A healthy body is obviously important, but don’t be pressured to lose weight just so you can join the bandwagon of celebs ‘snapping’ back to pre-pregnancy weight. Give yourself time and reasonable milestones. Eat right, drink right and most of all exercise. However, it’s not just about the exterior. Your mental statement of mind is just as, if not more important. Try to remain positive and keep a cheerful disposition, however rubbish you feel about your body.


Keep your brain active
It’s so easy to become immersed in baby and kiddie talk and activities when you spend so much time with the little ones. If you plan to return to work after the kids start school, try to keep your brain active and mind engaged even when you are at home with the children. Try some free online courses, engage with people of similar interests and consider joining or starting a network/support group. You could also volunteer, charities are always on the lookout for people who have got free time to help out. In the end, you get to do something worthwhile with those hours by giving back to the community and society at large, plus you feel good for it, so win-win all round.


…and finally, breathe! Sometimes that’s all it takes.


This article was written by Modupe Omolabi


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