Let’s face it, whether you’re into Valentine’s Day or not, February is a constant reminder of relationships and love and aside from the commercial benefits, it’s a general celebration of romance.
If you’re currently an independent single, interested in getting back into the notorious love game, here are some key tips you’ll need to feel amazing and potentially find a significant other, worthy of your time and enriching your life.
Cut ties with poisonous exes
Honestly, they’re exes for a reason. It may seem harmless to see your ex now and again for familiarity over anything else. Bear in mind that hanging out with an ex just for sex or habit could be holding you back from moving forward. The relationship you once shared is no longer, so holding onto the past can be harmful for your future love life and can give off the vibe that you’re already “off the market.” Amicable exes that are strictly friends don’t pose this problem so don’t go deleting numbers for no reason!
Assess where things went wrong before
If a bad boy was always your thing but it always ended up in the gutter, try not to make the same mistake again. Previous relationships or past experiences teach you a lot about yourself and compatibility with your own character. If there’s a certain character trait that didn’t match yours last time, take it as a warning for next time. You can’t change the person you’re dating so understanding characters and learning to be tolerant is the best thing you can do.
Join a dating site or dating activity days
The taboo surrounding online dating is safely a thing of the past. Many people find online love and it’s definitely a sign of our changing times. Don’t be scared to get involved with apps like Bumble, Tinder and Plenty of Fish. Buddy up with a girlfriend to do a blind double date to keep things light-hearted and fun. Sites like match.com often organise single parties that can be a great semi-organic way to potentially meet The One. The key to online dating is to have fun with it and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Do the things you always say you’re going to do
Reading the whole works of Jane Austen, travelling to Sri Lanka or joining a ballroom dancing class? Rack your brains for all those things you always say you wish you could do but have never tried. Being single is a great time to do all the things you daydream about. Not only will it be entirely self-fulfilling, it also opens doors to meeting like-minded people.
Work on the best version of yourself
This step can really mean anything. The sole focus, in a relationship or single life, is to make yourself happy. A relationship will never complete you so if you’re looking for one to fill a void, you’re looking for the wrong reasons. Focus on making yourself whole first. As cliché as it may sound, fill all the gaps in your life yourself first before trying to find a spouse. Once you feel self-fulfilled, you’ll be emotionally open to welcoming someone else into your life.
Do something you never thought you’d do
We’ve had the step advising on doing the things you always say you’re going to do but never actually do. Flip that on its head and do something you would never even dream of doing (within reason.) Turning your existing perceptions on their head is an amazing way to welcome new energies into your life whatever they might be. Facing fears and pushing yourself is a great confidence boost that translates into self-respect and self-worth when dating. For example, climb Mount Everest if you’re scared of heights… you get the idea.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Being vulnerable or exposed is a major reason that the dating game can be so daunting. Remind yourself that it’s okay to open up to new people, even after healing from a previous experience. When getting to know someone, try to have fun with it and remember how valuable you are. There’s a huge chance that your date will be feeling similar so try to stay in the moment and don’t let overthinking ruin it for you.