For when a child is born, the mother is also born again. So goes the saying, but how true is this sentiment? We asked 17 incredible mums what being a mother taught them about themselves.
There’s no doubt that motherhood is a journey. There’s no instruction manual and there are many moments where we feel like we are just winging it. Some mums have “a village” for support, others do not. But nothing gives more fulfillment than seeing your child develop and watching them blossom and grow through love and support. But through this process, mothers grow too.
We decided to reach out to some amazing mums in our community to ask the question:
“What has motherhood taught you about yourself”!
Lekia Lee – Project Embrace
Project Embrace is an empowering platform that’s run by Lekia Lee. The platform promotes embracing Afrocentric beauty and the goal of genuine media diversity. Their heart-warming, powerful advertising campaigns are beautiful celebrations of Black beauty.
Being a mum magnified the fact that I was too hard on myself and even though I had started a journey of self-love before my daughter was born, being a mum made me realise I still had a long way to go. My one aim was for my daughter to be a confident child and eventually a confident young woman. I knew if that is what I wanted for her, I had to be it first. I questioned everything I said and consequently everything I did to make sure it was from a place of true self-love and acceptance.
Marianne is a writer who uses her craft to speak the truth, including a recent post about the elections and her experience of living in the UK as a Black woman. Marianne is also the brains behind the podcast The Prosecco Chronicles, which explores living life as 40+ years old in a very millennial-focused world.
Being their mother has taught me that I can be an unapologetic strong Black woman whilst being flawed, emotional, irrational (sometimes) and immature if that means they see all sides of me and learn that Black women are not anyone’s stereotype.
Dr Clare Anyiam-Osigwe BEM
Dr Clare is a seasoned entrepreneur with more than 10 years in beauty PR & film. Dr Clare now has a new calling as a film director, screenwriter and actress, successfully releasing her critically acclaimed film, No Shade, about colourism and Black British love.
Since becoming a mother, a year ago, I’ve learnt to let go of the small stuff. Small stuff includes worrying about what others think of me and trying to keep up appearances. It’s OK to not always have it all the way together.
The best thing my daughter Lavender has taught me is to enjoy the moment. I was always living in the future, planning and strategizing as my entrepreneurial brain never switches off, and I was truly missing the beats, ebb and flow of each day. I’ve learnt to see the world through her eyes and have a newfound love for rest, play and nature.
Jessica has a distinguished career in PR, delivering masterclasses and retreats to inspire small businesses to raise their profiles. She is also the author of a truly inspirational book “Purpose” which encourages readers to follow a path that truly lights up their souls.
Being a mother continues to be an assault course for my self-development in the best possible way. It continues to teach me the art of surrender. That my role is not to shape and mould my children – set them up for some sort of false idea of security and social validity. On the contrary, my role is to do the hardest thing. To let go of the desire to control, protect and give them the space to become more of who they already are – even when it might be at odds with my own choices.
Trusting that just as my own trials challenges and pain are the fertile soil in which I am cultivated, so will theirs be.
Ronke Oke BEM
Ronke is the founder of Bread + Butter PR, which represents brands including the ACLT (African Caribbean Leukaemia Trust). One achievement out of many was being included on the Queen’s New Year’s Honours 2016 List for services to business & charity.
It’s funny… throughout my childhood, my mum would tell me her way was the right way to do certain things (which as a young child, I would roll my eyes, disagree with and think my mum was just being extra!). But, being the mother of three (my 21-year-old bonus son, my 12-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son), it’s only now I can TRULY appreciate that my dearest mum was right on most things!
Ms Xpat aka Maria Tumolo is a Trinidadian lifestyle blogger who uses her blog The Tiger Tales to share her journey as an ex-pat parent. Maria using her platform to share her truth on everything from raising mixed heritage children, fitness, natural hair care, beauty, days out with the children and so much more.
Motherhood has taught me how to be kinder and more nurturing to myself. I believe the best gift I can give my children is how to be authentically humane and I can only do that by fostering emotional intelligence, which starts with me.
As a Black ex-pat mother, I’ve learnt how strong and resilient I am. Motherhood reintroduced me to my inner child and the power of dreams.
Oluwakemi Alli – Awesome Dishes
Oluwakemi has built a loyal following for her brand, Awesome Dishes, via Instagram. She has turned a passion for cooking into a thriving catering business. Alongside all the scrumptious food, Oluwakemi also shares a heart-warming glimpse of her life as a mother on the ‘gram.
Being a mum has taught me the act of selflessness because I put my kids needs first before mine and also, I’ve become more generous to others in need
Being a Mom has also helped me to be more patient and disciplined when dealing with situations which usually would really make me lash out on people. I’m their mirror, and whatever I do, is what they would do.
Jade Sullivan – The Sullivans
Jade runs the no-nonsense blog Selfish Mother, a platform that projects away from the idea of perfection that is often projected onto parents. Jade also shares her journey of teaching her children to embrace their beautiful afro-textured hair and highlighting a strong black family unit.
Being a Mum has taught me infinite love, strength, empathy, sacrifice resilience and strength. My beautiful children have taught me the joy of seeing rainbow magic in everything we do; anything can be made into an exciting adventure. I’m very passionate about showing a strong Black family unit, it’s important to show that I’m not on my own in this, this is a team effort! Thank God! It’s ain’t MF easy!
Kelechi is an actor, writer, fitness enthusiast, podcaster and so much more. When she’s not doing all of that, she can be found at her popular pole dancing business called Kelechnekoff Studio. Kelechi is unapologetic about using her voice to support and empower Black women.
Being a mum has taught me that love is truly able to transform our entire being and hold us accountable to ourselves for all the ways we self-sabotage by playing small. Being a mum requires courage I didn’t know I possessed. Loving it.
Ewky Chukwuji-Nnene – Equi Botanics
Ewky Chukwuji-Nnene is the founder of natural hair care brand Equi Botanics. Through Instagram, Ewky serves us Black girl magic as she shares hair stories about herself and her daughters focused on loving and caring for their hair. It’s beautiful to see Ewky teach her daughters to love themselves and be proud of their gorgeous crowns!
That I am created to leave behind a legacy of not just an empire, but a legacy of compassion, connection, purpose and meaning. And that as I have stood on the shoulders of giants before me to fulfil my calling, my daughters will stand on my shoulders.
Deborah is a breath of fresh air with her honest and uplifting anecdotes of how she journeys through life as a mother. A Big Brother UK finalist, she’s also one of two hosts for the Podcast Mums Gist, where she gives listeners the uncensored version of motherhood.
Being a mum has allowed me to know who and what my purpose is as a mother. I never knew love or understood love the way I now do towards my child but finding myself and my identity as a mother has made me understand the purpose of my love towards myself and my child. That’s something I could never put a price on. Finding me and finding my purpose.
Nadine is the founder of Just Entrepreneurs magazine. Just Entrepreneurs inspires business owners through interviews with other entrepreneurs, sharing useful resources and business advice & tips.
Being a mother has taught me to unapologetically be myself. I’ve always been very strong about presenting myself to the world as I am, no pardons or fear. But little did I know all of that was going to be stripped back and redeveloped after becoming a mother. They truly bring out the best in me!
Hey Is That Me
Chioma is a writer/ blogger who shares honest, funny and relatable stories about her experiences of black British motherhood and parenthood through her popular blog.
I have learnt that “motherhood” is not a monolith. While the fact that we have given birth, or are raising children, bonds us, the way in which we do this differs so greatly. Before I was a mum, I was full of judgement. It’s a cliché, I know, but it’s true. I was full up! It was so bad. Now I understand that there are so many variables involved as to why and how we parent…and, guess what? Many of these variables are completely out of our control! I feel awful sometimes when I remember some of the things that I’ve said, but it’s all about growth, right? Motherhood made me a better person – the hard way.
Bridget Daley – ParentsinBiz
Bridget Daley is a mother of five (!) and a self-professed parentpreneur). Through her own journey of building a business, studying and juggling motherhood, Bridget’s ability to create a platform to empower other parents along their business journey is truly inspirational! We love to see it.
Motherhood has been the most excellent teacher; It’s taught me that sometimes I will mess up and owning up to my mistakes is what real honesty is about.
My children teach me new things everyday like the latest music, new crazy viral dance moves and new app mobile apps. I often sit in awe when I think about their differences and similarities. Being a mum has taught me to savour the moments through good and bad times as I have learnt that those are the times that my children and I look back on and laugh out loud about and sometimes cry about.
Sonia is the driving force behind Inspirational You, a social enterprise that provides empowering masterclasses and workshops for startups, women and students. A true powerhouse Sonia also runs a business called FunkyNChunky selling stunning African-inspired accessories.
Motherhood has taught me to have purpose and passion. I felt driven harder to create a legacy and focused on inspiring my daughter and those around me. Motherhood teaches you the purpose of time.
Rashida is a multiple award-winning lawyer who’s using her expertise to champion the African Dream. Rashida’s business, Strand Sahara, aims to empower entrepreneurs of African descent with high-quality legal advice to help them reach new heights of success in the UK and Africa.
Becoming a mum has taught me that I am stronger, more capable and more powerful than I had previously thought possible.
After graduating from the acclaimed Central Saint Martins with a fashion degree, Yvadney is a celebrated kids and teens fashion stylist with more than 15 years working in the fashion industry. She’s also one of the creatives behind the hugely popular platforms, Mums That Rave and Mums That Slay.
When I was pregnant with my second child, I just couldn’t understand how I could possibly love another child as much as my son. She was born while I was laughing and at that moment I realised, I had been given more love, it didn’t need to be shared. So that knowledge, that I am a vessel of love is pretty soppy, but an incredible blessing.