At this time of the year, many of us focus on trying to improve wellbeing into our lives, focusing on the usual suspects of planning a new fitness regime or giving up booze, but what about a resolution that could help your relationship? It’s easy to fall into bad habits with your romance as much as it is with your health or diet. Forgetting to say ‘I love you’, or missing one-on-one time.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, here are some resolutions to make for the coming year which will get you back on track.
1. Communicate the little things
Who hasn’t let a small niggle build up to a big argument? Make this the year you speak up little, and often, says Behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings.
“Always try to communicate to your partner any small or seemingly inconsequential concerns that you have in your relationship, as soon as they start to bother you,” advises Hemmings. “Issues that are not resolved early on, quickly turn into deeper resentment, and talking about it further down the line, once that niggling resentment has set in, can often lead to quite bitter rows. Learn to nip those worries in the bud as quickly as possible.”
2. Step away from your phones
Sitting on the sofa together, but both staring at your phones? Time to put them down, says Ben Edwards, self-confidence coach and relationship expert: “By constantly having a phone within sight or on hand whilst carrying out a conversation, and checking notifications during a lull in a conversation or at the dinner table, can appear as though you are distracted and paying insufficient attention to your loved one.”
“Start dating one another again. Set a weekly or a monthly date night, no electronics, kids or distractions.”
3. Say thank you, often
“When your partner makes a grand gesture, gratitude is obviously in order. But what about the more mundane tasks, like washing the dishes or paying the bills, or cooking dinner?” says Edwards. “Just saying thank you can go an awful long way in making someone feel good about themselves and appreciated in a relationship.”
4. Find more ‘you time’ as a pair
“As the saying goes, ‘Couples that play together, stay together’. In increasingly busy lives, it can be easy to simply function on a practical, time efficient way as a couple, which, while it might help you cope day-to-day, does erode quality time together and intimacy after a while,” says Hemmings. “Make time for each other, doing some fun stuff – whether that’s breakfast in bed on a weekend or rock climbing together.”
5. And make date night regular and distraction free
“Four in five (78%) women and seven in 10 (71%) men agree that their last date night helped them to feel closer to their partner,” reveals co-founder of MyDateNight.com, Rhodri Williams. “The best resolution you can make is to spend time together, reconnecting and reviving the spark you had at the beginning of the relationship.
“Start dating one another again. Set a weekly or a monthly date night, no electronics, kids or distractions. Just you two. Whatever daily pressures we face, continued love and romance are key.”
6. Kiss and giggle
It can be just a quick peck, but in 2019 you should be doing lots of kissing, says Ezgi, relationship expert at ‘slow dating’ app, Once.
“Make kissing your other half the first thing you do when you walk through the door after a day at work, just a quick peck will do. Also, make a conscious effort to make your partner laugh every day. Laughter is good for the soul and is scientifically proven to relieve physical tension and stress. So crack a joke or act goofy around each other and don’t take life too seriously.”
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