Fear and lack of confidence are often big hurdles that many of us need to overcome to realise our full potential. We are thrilled to have executive coach, consultant and renowned speaker, Madeline McQueen, join us as a contributor and in her first article with us, she talks confidence, clarity and empowerment.
Whether you are a career woman or running your own business there comes a time when you want more from your life. You know that to get more you need to boost your confidence and your self-esteem and really open your mind to the possibilities around you, but something stops you.
Too often we put ourselves on hold, helping everyone else and getting lost in the process. You work hard, you try to be your best and to be a good person. Yet you still feel stuck, it’s not that things aren’t moving, it’s just that they’re not moving the way you want them to.
You can feel the greatness within you but it’s covered with so many layers of insecurity and other people’s beliefs about who you should be, that you just can’t find your way to reveal the awesome you.
Fear not, you are not alone, many women feel just like you do. Whilst, I’ve always had a sense of empowerment I often found that it got lost following others, not being true to myself and spending my life trying to fix other people. The day that I stopped looking at everyone else and started looking at me, was when I found out who I really was and stepped into my magnificence.
So, you need to get clear to feel confident and when you feel clear and confident you can truly be empowered to achieve more. So how do you get to that empowerment stage?
First, get CLEAR!
Heard the phrase “Without a vision the people perish?” Well, when you feel unclear it’s extremely difficult to feel confident, and furthermore, empowered.
To get clear, journaling works extremely well. You can get your thoughts down on paper and truly explore what you want. Ask yourself questions like:
- What do I want for myself?
- What do I want to achieve?
- Why is it important to me?
- What do I like? What don’t I like?
- What do I need to let go of? What do I need to hold on to?
- If I was to just go for it what would I do?
When you open yourself up to truly consider who you are and what you want, and where you want to go you feel a sense of clarity and purpose that drives you forward. This are no excuses, ifs or buts, ignore what anyone else has to say, go with your gut.
Now you are clear let’s get CONFIDENT.
Confidence is evidence based. So how do you build your confidence? Pull out that journal!
Write a list of everything that you have ever achieved. Tied your shoe laces on your own aged five? Write it down. Won awards at school or in work? Write it down. Bought a house, car or other desirable item all by yourself? Write it down. Go for it, allow yourself to bask in your greatness through your achievements.
You should fill a minimum A4 sheet of paper and if you haven’t then you are not being kind enough to yourself. Really let loose. It is an amazing feeling when you realise what you have achieved.
Once you’ve done this take some time to consider all the skills and talents that you used to achieve these. Focus on the kind of mind-set you had when doing them, bask in that feeling of achievement. Consider all of that gorgeous experience that you have accumulated. You will feel the confidence oozing through your body.
Now that you’re feeling pretty chuffed with yourself, we can move onto the next step.
When you are clear and confident the empowerment bursts through. Now’s the time to write your bucket list, what things have you always wanted to do? Go on, step out of your comfort zone. You’ve proven that you have what it takes to do this, it’s now on paper, that confidence list is plenty of proof.
Take action, take a chance, believe in yourself. The evidence is there in black and white. Say “I Can” out loud and then go for it.
When you know who you are and have the evidence to back it up it’s time to create more evidence, it’s time to move. Ask for more and expect a yes.
Thoughts become things, so focus on what you want and then do everything you can to achieve it. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and if you don’t have any then go and find some!
This isn’t wishful thinking, its evidenced based. You just must trust yourself and your skills, talents, experience and achievements enough to know that you have what it takes to get yourself where you want to go.
Be clear, be confident and be empowered.
So, go on…be magnificent!