Intimacy! With the ever increasing numbers of people getting divorced, you could be forgiven for thinking that it is a dirty word! Even before we reach adulthood, as babies we instinctively crave the touch of our mothers, showing that intimacy is based on a deep, biological need.
Countless research shows that couples who are more frequently intimate and communicate honestly with each other are happier. And yes, we are talking about being physically intimate with your other half. However, it’s often easier said than done. Many of us lead extremely busy lives and being intimate and romantic with our significant other is often the last thing on our minds. Our five tips below, are less about teaching you how to be intimate, but more about reminding you of the little actions and steps that you can take to help keep the flame burning hot in the bedroom.
Read our tips below
Sexy Lingerie
As progressive and forward thinking as we modern women are, the mind and our emotions are fed on what we see. It’s easy to get comfortable with our other half and before you know it, your underwear draw is saying, “Nothing but drab here! Move along!” A nice matching bra and panties set can make you feel beautiful and sexy. I don’t mind sharing that one of the things that helps keep intimacy levels high in my relationship is having a very good collection of lingerie. Not for every day, but every once in a while to keep our relationship fresh. The truth is – a good ol’ pair of granny panties never hurt anyone and you can’t deny just how comfortable they can be, especially when it’s that time of the month! But on the whole, it’s good to have a couple of pieces to whip out every now and again.
Role Playing
Playing dress up for your partner can be a very fun way to boost intimacy levels e.g. a nurse’s outfit (to take his temperature – lol) or a maid’s outfit (for cooking his favourite meal). You could take things up a notch and explore with different foods, whipped cream or honey during a back rub? But I digress! There are numerous creative outfits and props out there to keep things nice and spicy. On that topic, remember to have your safe words if going down the bondage, whips and chains routes. The aim is intimacy, not reliving the best bits from 12 Years A Slave!
Explore
Don’t be afraid to explore each other’s bodies. In a relationship, there’s no greater sense of intimacy than familiarity with your partner’s body, while also discovering new and exciting ways to please each other. Make a point of trying different positions to shake things up a bit. Now if you’re not a naturally flexible person then don’t go and break your back and don’t force your partner to try things that they are not comfortable with. You’ve got nothing to lose by trying – but if it’s uncomfortable or starts to dampen the mood – then be sensitive to your partner’s feelings and work at a pace and a position that you both feel ok with until you’re both ready to try something new.
Take the time to learn from one another what is pleasurable to you both, being sensitive to each other’s needs and at times, sacrificing your own sexual fulfilment to ensure that your partner gets theirs.
Love Notes
Never underestimate the power of a good love note/message to boost intimacy levels. Leave little love notes around the house, on his toothbrush, in his car or send it to his work email. Let him know that you’re thinking about him or send him a love note whilst he’s away on a business trip or when you’re both out with friends for dinner… send him a text and remind him of all the things you can wait to do to him when you get home.
Communication
This tip underpins all of the others. Communication is key. Spend time actually talking to each other and communicating with each other about your feelings, thoughts, hopes and desires. Intimacy isn’t always about having sex, but about the closeness you feel as you relate with each other, so if that means skipping on sex to just sit naked, cuddling up together and reminiscing over your favourite memories of a recent holiday you both went on… you might find that you feel even more intimate in that moment with your partner than if you were making love!
Image credits: www.123rf.com.
2 comments
I like how you pointed out that exploration can be a great way to increase intimacy. I feel like this would also go a long ways in helping improve communication and help you feel more connected to your partner. Being able to understand each other’s desires would definitely go a long ways in building intimacy, especially in my own relationship.
Glad you liked the piece Earnest!