For single ladies, the dating game is never plain sailing. We fully expect to kiss a few frogs before we find our own Prince Will Smith or Prince Boris Kudjoe. But are today’s men conforming to a type?
Claire Clottey takes a humorous look at some specific stereotypes. Can you recognize any of these lovers from your past?

 

The Mama’s Boy

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This young man has strong family values. You love that he respects his mummy and treats her like a Queen. You brag to your friends “I’ve found a man who knows how to look after a woman”. Yes. There is a lot of truth in this statement but perhaps too much truth. As your relationship progresses and things get comfortable, you and your boo enjoy the increasing amounts of time you spend together snuggled up on the sofa. The honeymoon period is officially over, the dates have almost vanished, for you anyway…

Mama is still enjoying trips to Gaucho, theatre trips to see Motown, a spa day and shopping sprees.

You attempt to address the imbalance.

It’s a delicate topic and you pat yourself on the back for the diplomatic way you explain your feelings to your boo, yet you’re left feeling slightly ashamed of yourself as he explains that his mum is his Queen, she raised him and his four siblings, single handedly, fleeing an abusive relationship, whilst juggling three jobs and achieving her masters in child psychology. Surely she deserves some pay back?!?

Well, mama’s psychology skills may work on her son but you’ve had enough!

 

The Penny Pincher

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Dating is not cheap, in fact I know many ladies who avoid dating because of the sometimes exorbitant costs. By the time you tally up the cost of a new dress, your shellac manicure, your fresh hair do, your Uber ride home and your vex* money, you’ve far exceeded your fortnightly grocery shop. So when you meet a potential suitor who is equally mindful of his money, can one really complain?

He pays for the first date… after scrutinizing the bill, and shamelessly doesn’t leave a tip.

On the second date, he accepts your offer to go “Dutch” and split the bill.

And on the third date, he suggests you cook a meal together at YOURS. Well, you oblige, after all, you KNOW you can throw it down in the kitchen (and else where if the need arises) yet he turns up with a supermarket branded bottle of drink, a no name tub of ice cream *insert eye bulge* and an empty Tupperware dish, clarifying that the leftovers will be his lunch at work tomorrow.

He wants to see you again, yet he suggests even more cost effective alternatives to your suggestions of concerts, theme parks and cinema. His alternatives;  #Youtube #IndoorTrampolining and #Netflix.

He is also the biggest fan of independent women! As you begin to do the math in your head, the penny finally drops #Sigh

 

The Daddy

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No, not the ‘sugar daddy’, but the man with lots of children! He too values family and actually spends quality time with his children whilst helping out each of his baby mothers’ financially. He has experience of relationship breakdowns and attributes his great communication skills to the lessons that he learnt from the failings of past relationships. With three different mothers for his multiple children, he has learnt to be patient and share his time. He is direct and decisive. A confident man (and we all know women love a confident man) who knows how to look after home; cooking, cleaning and ironing! His children are his riches yet his criticism of his children’s mothers parenting skills makes you feel uncomfortable, or perhaps it his reluctance to use contraception with you.

It’s not that you don’t trust him but you are a tad mindful about sharing the assets that you have single handedly acquired with multiple children, none of whom have exited your womb.

#Sigh Yes, The Daddy also brings something to the table. More mouths to feed.

 

The Career Man

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He believes his Queen (you, not his mother) is deserving of a castle for a home and is working night and day, literally, to make it happen. Not only does he have a fantastic day job earning a really decent salary, he is an entrepreneur with two businesses and a couple of properties. He is generous because he can afford to be, but not frivolous as he wants to be able to sustain ‘the family’ he will eventually have with you.

Yes, HE is your future husband and he has suggested that you are his future wife. But his work schedule is so hectic that you hardly see him AND you’ve only managed to ‘consummate’ your trial ‘marriage’ three times in eight months…WTH? Is there someone else? Is he simply not that into sex? Is he a closet gay? #Breathe This man is TIRED!

He is so busy building your future life together that he hasn’t stopped to allow you to contribute. Left to his own devices he would purchase the castle, decorate and simply ship you and your baby-ready womb in.

Eight months of virtual communication, occasional lunch dates in between work meetings and three sex sessions?!?! #Sigh Keep it moving while praying for him that he doesn’t end up a lonely old man with a massive castle filled with dogs.

 

Mr Wicked in Bed

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I should have written this one first.!

This man is sooooo good in bed, you almost want to share him with your friends so that you can compare notes…Every time he touches your skin, you feel throbbing …..Ooooops… I’ve run out of space, let’s save this one for another time #LOL

* Money you keep aside on the date in case he upsets you and you need to check out of there in a hurry.

 

Image credits: www.123rf.com