When is the right time to conceive? Is it anyone’s business? Claire Clottey talks to two women in their 30’s who own their ‘womb stories’ with pride… To conceive or not to conceive, that is the question!
For many years, teenage mothers in the UK have had a bad reputation in the media with political discussions highlighting social housing and tax payer funding abuse. However, in recent years the attention has somewhat shifted to focus on mature aka older mothers who equally appear to be scrutinized for burdening the NHS because of their decision to become mothers later on in life.
Thanks to medical advancements, women can now afford and choose when they would like to start a family. It’s no longer shocking for women to conceive later on in life, take American pop singer, Janet Jackson for example who, at the time of writing, is expecting her first child at 50. Indeed, many women are choosing not to have children at all.
“People are brazen. I’ve been asked, ‘when will it be you’, but I’ve always shrugged it off and side eyed them for even asking about MY womb.
Society has become more accepting when it comes to women being ‘go getters’ in the career department. What we consider to be the norm has changed a lot in the last couple of decades.
Most of the women that I know with children, had them before they got to my age, somewhere in their late twenties. In fact, my own mother had me, her third child by the age of 27. But I don’t want to be a mother.
I don’t regard discussing my decision not to have children as a sensitive topic. It’s more annoying than anything. Perhaps if I wanted to have children and didn’t have a partner, then I would want people to approach the topic with caution. I have reflected on how I would feel if I was told that it was medically impossible for me to become a mother… To say ‘nothing’ sounds a bit harsh, even though I’m very sure about not wanting children.
I do know the human psyche is weird, so who knows? What I do know is that motherhood is hard work, to say the least. A mother is a nurturer, a teacher, a protector, a provider and a role that I greatly admire. It’s a delicate balance of so many things and although I recognize the joy that motherhood brings I thoroughly enjoy my role as an auntie to my nephew.”
“Becoming a mother is my greatest dream. In fact, everything I have worked for up until this point, even my future business plans are made in the name of my unborn children.
My mother, one aunt and I broke the mold in our Arab – Muslim family tree! But we are the minority. My mum’s five sisters all got married and had children in their very early 20’s. Most of the people I went to school with had children more or less as soon as they left school or a few years later. I have personally worked with a good number of young mothers running successful businesses whilst raising their children.
Some young mothers are so motivated to achieve greatness and I wonder if this would be the case if they didn’t have children. On the other hand, I know some hard working, ambitious career women who have put plans for marriage and children on hold until their career has taken off. I fall into this category. I believe that having children is the most natural thing in the world and something that I absolutely want to do, but nevertheless, I get a tad bit anxious when thinking about having children. I want to leave a legacy for my children and I look forward to loving them unconditionally and supporting them to be the best version of themselves with me providing them with everything my parents provided for me and more.
Yes, I am aware of the challenges of being an older mother, I already have a bad back and sometimes I laugh at how unfit I am, but I guess I’ll cross those potential bridges if I ever come to them. I’m a determined woman and have the confidence and faith to overcome hurdles in life and if that means becoming healthier in preparation for motherhood and my children’s sake, in my older years….then I WILL!”